1. Smile

2. Enjoy

3. Bounce

These are the rules we followed before even entering the gym for our performance. It was so fast that I didn't notice that we wasted time in just giving advices and stuff. Prayed before we even performed. And after praying, we went in there and gave it our all. It was an awesome performance. Right after performing we met our advisers at the back and they were dancing with joy. It was one of the most overwhelming events in my life.

We received tons of compliments. But we stayed humble. Then the moment of truth.

We were all nervous. But knowing that we weren't last anymore just gave us this relief and made us even more nervous. Then knowing that we weren't in second place just made all the juniors jump and scream. And saying goodlucks, shaking hands and giving hugs to your fellow schoolmates when we were placed in the center of the gym just made me feel that we were all equal. That we were all nervous.

1st place. This was just...overwhemling. Never expected that we, 3 consecutive years being last, would jump all the way to first.

Why do I love this day so much? ♥ Though it was just boring after the performances. :)

Today was a day of non-stop dancing, polishing steps and brainstorming. Yeah it was fun, I actually loved our practices. I loved the lifting part for our yell, fuck yes this is real. I actually had the chills about who was going to lift me. Started with Mike, then I went to Nasis. Unfortunately I sorta injured him. And I kept saying sorry. I went back to Mike, so I can be safe. ;) After that we went to another venue to practice, and we could see all the levels dance.

We have this attitude, when we see our opponents' performance we pretty much lose hope. But Simmon was there. I love that guy. He kept motivating us, even though he was down. We polished under the feaking heat. And it was fun. A lot saw our dance.

But there's miss Ethel. During our dance she enjoyed our Mumbo Number Five. Wish it lasted longer. Really. :D But still I really enjoyed this day, for our practice.

It's after the practice that bothered me. YEZZ. I was tired, and I expected more. And now I know, that you're not trying to reach our limitations this time. Some part of me thinks it's okay. Because I knew that it's for the better. But then, my pessimist side just bursts.

You know what? I fucking looked stupid there. Thinking you'd approach me, because I'm alone. Guess it doesn't work that way now eh?

Ugh. Screw me and my emotions. I really hate myself. Wish I'd just disappear and everyone would forget about me and all those shit.

Meet Adi. And the crappy part of her life. :|

This week has been hell week for me. Scratch the exams and all the things piled up. But a lot has been going into my mind lately. A LOT. I don't even know where to start.

The management decided to bring the cheerdance competition back. Which was pretty much okay for me. My other batchmates were still upset about those. Who can blame them? I don't really know what happened, but all I know is... I wasn't there. (Btw, this is from the 6th grade experience we had.) We expected too much. PERIOD.

Some guy, from our batch, whom I barely know kept making stories about me and him. Which isn't true. No, I don't like him. And no, he isn't courting me. And fucking no, we are not together. Just to make things clear for you. Screw you, for making that up.

Lastly, he wanted a second chance. He asked me. He regretted leaving me, and has come back to try to give us another try. And again no. After all the bullshit you've put me through, for just leaving me there, expecting that you'll be there to catch me. And you let me down. And now she left you, so you're going back to me.

For your information, I am not a fucking rebound. Please keep that in mind. I know this would hurt you, if you're really sincere, but I need to put myself first. No, I'm not mad at you. It's just that, you wasted my time before. And I'm afraid you'd waste it again.

I FEEL SO STUPID. REAL STUPID. And it hurts like hell.